Online Dating

I'm doing online dating.

This is my third, or fourth (I've blocked some of them out) attempt at online dating.

I'm doing eharmony this time around.

By "doing" I mean to say that I've created a profile, "winked" at some people who never responded and engaged in email dialogues with some really old, really unattractive, really uninteresting people.

Because, so far, that's the clientele who is interested in my milkshake.

You know that Kelis song, 'Milkshake'?

It goes like this:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge 

At this point, I feel like I need to pay them to come to my milkshake.

Oh, wait...I AM. 

I actually PAY eharmony to bring these men into my yard.

FUCK.  MY.  Life.